In May Last year I accidentally/randomly/incredibly met David Beckham.
I offered David Beckham a piece of bread.
WTF? I’m more confused than anyone, believe me. So in May 2013, I was lucky enough to work on the UEFA dinner at Old Billingsgate market. This was an introduction to my events career and was hired for set-up as an events assistant. I also knew I was on hand to help the waiters if need be throughout the dinner and had to dress up (like a moron) for the whole duration.
So there I am, doing set-up blah blah all standard stuff, laying tables etc.. I hadn’t even given it a second thought to who would be attending such a UEFA event. I’m polishing silver on the head table and look down to the place names being set out and see the name DAVID BECKHAM.
OH SWEET JESUS. DAVID. BECKHAM. HERE. IN FRONT OF ME. WHAT THE HELL.
I commence my silver polishing to take extra care in making Beckham’s spoons sparkle. About an hour later I head backstage to lay out goody bags and other random jobs then suddenly I am called to help out, all hands on deck and that. One of the managers throws me a bow tie, A FUCKING BOW TIE to wear and I hang my head in shame. Is this the sort of shit that waitresses have to wear these days? So I look down and I am wearing a men’s shirt, a bow tie, straight legged trousers and shiny shoes even my Grandmother would be embarrassed about. How can I meet this delicious man looking like Bruce Forsyth for god sake?
I am chucked a bread basket and pushed out into the dining area. I’m asked to follow a chain of others out to the head table. OMG THE HEAD TABLE. I knew what was coming next. I try and peek past and I spy Beckham in deep conversation with Sir Alex Ferguson. Everything I was told in the briefing about “acting normally” went straight out the window. I’m sorry but how is one supposed to act normally in front of possibly one of the most famous people that has ever lived? I approached the table and stared hard at Beckham, (sometimes I wonder really if I am a secret psychopath) and he stared straight back. Before I knew it I was having a full on staring competition with Beckham. REALLY FLO, REALLY?! Could you be anymore weird sometimes? He broke into a friendly (awkward) smile, clearly used to crazed/mental/deranged girls like myself.
Next thing I knew I was standing behind Beckham holding a fucking bread basket. He smelt divine and I was so close I could see the tattoos so closely on his neck. So this was it, I held the bread basket to Beckham and said hello. He turned round and asked me what types of bread were in the basket and I replied with 100% made-up answers (some bullshit about soda bread and olives) and he knew it. He reached into the basket and chose two slices of wholemeal seeded. He said thank you very much, smiled again and I died a thousand times.
SO THAT WAS THE TIME I GAVE DAVID BECKHAM A PIECE OF BREAD.
Oh, the event was also hijacked by Palestinian protesters that stood on top of the head table and shouted at Ferguson waving a flag and had to be arrested… but that is nowhere near as exciting as the fact that David Beckham likes wholemeal bread.